Birthdays

I found this picture when I google image searched, "Happy Birthday Jesus". Shocking is all I can say...I never took Jesus for a black man!

Happy Thanksgiving

By the way! Happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful for alternative Christmas music.Here's a great compilation of downloadable Xmas related mp3s to get you in the mood for the holiday season.

Go Home

I found this article head lining on espn.com and couldn't help but be thoroughly angered by it! The article sites Varejao as the best young player the Cavs had behind Lebron...An amazing ball player that averaged just over 6 points and 6 rebounds per 23 min. last season.

I am sorry but an amazing player is Lebron James...Who is well on his way to being only the 2nd ever NBA player to average a triple double. Varejao says he doesn't want to play in Cleveland any more.

Guess what? I say since we are in the giving season...We give Anderson back to his homeland! He can pack his suitcase and his Side Show Bob hair, maybe Larry Hughes (If he is considered carry on size), and hop the next flight out of here back to the motherland!

The reality is the Cavs at this point in the season and their growing process do NOT need a flop artist! They need someone to run the point and contribute on a consistent basis, especially in the scoring column.

Peace out Andy!

O-H-I-O

Jim Tressel and his Ohio State Buckeyes just completed their fourth win in a row over that state up North. 14-3 was the final score of this low scoring, somewhat sloppy, defensively dominated game.

Ohio States defense seemed human only in the first half when Blue went to a no huddle offense, which resulted in their only score of the game. After that it was all OSU defense, coupled with big time running from Chris "Beanie" Wells, who had 222 yrds. on the ground for the game.

Speaking of running backs lets talk about Mike Hart for blue. Before the game he was quoted saying, "I would rather lose to Appalachian State than Ohio State." I would love to hear how it feels to lose to both in one season? Not only was Hart the only one that showed up for Blue but Henne was ineffective, with his dislocated shoulder, and Manningham had 3 drops on passes that more than catchable.

Another great day to be a Buckeye! The state up North is still struggling to even find half an answer for Jim Tressel, and at the end of today will probably be hoping to find some of that answer in a new head coach.

O-H-I-O

From the Archives

I had the pleasure this past week of receiving an email from my illegitimate father. This was enclosed in the email. A little clip from the family archives. I will admit it made me a little ashamed to call them family but I had to remind myself that you don't chose them, they chose you!

Japan

I haven't seen the yellow-man scramble like this since Hiroshima and Nagasaki!

That last comment was tasteless I know...Seriously though who else would come up with this shit?

Why Dog? Why?

I hope all of you have been following the saga of Dwane "Dog" Chapmen. In my travels of the Internet I have come across the video clips of his first interview after having a phone conversation, which was taped, with his son, where he repeatedly insulted the African American race.

Now take the time before you judge Dog, review the tapes, then make your judgement. I mean in my humble opinion the African American race got off easy here. It is Dog that has gotten screwed for life. I mean he is just now, at the age of 55 realizing that he is not black, a "Brother from a different mother." I mean to just make that realization at the age of 55 he must feel like he has been living a lie his whole life.

Most of all I hope we can all learn from Dog's mistakes...We are all brothers from different mothers, and thank God! Because that means I am not related to Dog in any way!

For Your Viewing Pleasure

It was really only a matter of time before, "Flight of the Concords" graced the Male Perspective with their presence. These two lovely men were first shown to me by Dave and Cory. I wish I could tell you what it was about their music that makes it so enjoyable.

I mean after listening to them you as well as I know it isn't their voices or harmonizing that keeps you coming back. It certainly isn't their dashing good looks, or sentimental lyrics. So, what is it you ask? I honestly can't explain it! So, I leave it up to you...Let me know what you think it is that makes the, "Flight of the Concords" some of the best music released in 2007.

We are fucked

I found this on youtube...Apparently it is actual footage of American soldiers training Iraqi soldiers. I find it promising (sarcasm)...Let me know what you think!

I have also decided to bypass the quote of the week...Not much was said...

Brett Favre...

Favre pictured above...I don't think he
looks a day over 13 in this picture.
The Packer's had it listed as his profile
picture for this season.

I know what you're thinking...He's still alive? Not only is he alive but he is having one of the best seasons of his career. I hope this blog and the attention he is receiving for his 82 yrd. overtime bomb to beat Denver last night doesn't put a jinx on him, but this guy is a freak.





For about six consecutive seasons now people have been telling him to retire at the end of each season. Each time Favre says, "No!" He goes on to have a mediocre season. Not this time! He is kicking ass and taking names as evidenced by this 38 yr. old's 66.1% completion rating and over 2000 yards passing, and all of this going into week 9 of the NFL season.





I know what you are thinking...Those numbers are not that impressive, in fact he is rated 10th overall in the NFL QB ratings, behind the like of Brady, Manning, Romo, Anderson...It is his age that makes it so impressive. So, the next time you turn on the tube and you see Green Bay playing, don't flip the channel! Stop and admire for a minute, for you are watching one of the oldest, yet still productive quarterbacks in the league ever!

Whoa Bear! Whoa Bear! Hey Bear!

I have officially deemed November, Bear Safety Awareness Month. So, I find it my duty to bring you two educational videos. The first of which is this one... Now I know you are thinking that this brief commercial is nothing but plain silliness and that, the brief fight is computer generated. I deny none of those claims. However, I find it still very valuable for demonstrating some very basic street fighting tactics, that may be useful if you encounter an angry bear. Just remember, based on that bears demonstration of fancy footwork you will need to bring your "A" game, if you want that Salmon.

The second of the two videos is a bit more lengthy and serious. The first part of this video that I would like to emphasize is bear spray. For the love of God make sure if you are going to gallivant about in the woods that you pack your bear spray. Now, I don't know that you will have the presence of mind to use it on the bear when this several thousand pound animal is eating your face, but make sure you at least have it on you. The second part I would like to emphasize is calling the bears bluff. This is much like playing a game of very high stakes poker, that is you have a small pocket pair and have just gone all in before the flop, oh and by the way you just went all in with your life! I think a good rule of thumb to operate by when calling the bears bluff, is if you don't feel like you could call OJ's bluff when he said he didn't do it, then you are not very good at reading people. So, you should probably run like hell no matter what. The last part I would like to call your attention to is the part about rolling around on the ground if the bear wants to roll you over. The Ranger says to let the bear roll you...You see to me...If I were the bear...Is all I would be able to thin is...YUM rotisserie!!! So, again I would recommend you run like hell...The Ranger cautions you not to worry though most of these attacks end in seconds...Well that's probably because it takes the bear no time at all kill you.

Well I hope that this bit of bear knowledge has helped you...Most of all I hope you can take some new information away from this lesson...Even if it is to carry bear spray, roll, or simply call the bears bluff, I still would like to caution you to watch for the fancy footwork and mean right cross.

Quote of the Week

Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man? --Tenacious D

Need I say more?

Done

Ladies and gentlemen it is over and not a moment to soon! Thank God! The BoSox completed the sweet of the Rockies last night ending the 2007 baseball season and not a moment to soon! The Rockies, after a nine day layoff, failed to recapture even a glimpse of their once stellar play that led them to the World Series. Which would lead to their 0-4 series loss!

Validating what most baseball fans already feel...That is the National League cannot produce a team that can compete with American League power! It just isn't going to happen, so, they should stop trying and simply re-name the ALCS the World Series, because that's what it is.

On another note you have to love that even with a newly crowned World Series Champion, the headlines on most websites and papers are about how A-Rod want out of his contract! Boston wins and the Yankees still hold the headlines...What else is new?

Tis The Season...Already!!!

I have yet to blog on the fact that, as of the month of October, Great Lakes Brewing Company, has decided that the holiday season is upon us! This is by far some of the best news to hit me every year! You see it's not the fact that Thanksgiving is closer, or that Christ is almost born! NO! It is the simple fact that for the next three months Great Lakes Christmas Ale will be on the shelves!

This is not just any ordinary ale! This is a very rich, pine nut, pine needle, frothy bitter tasting, holiday fruitcake of the finest kind! Not to mention it has almost three times the amount of alcohol as normal beer...Which is perfect for either taking off the edge of the cold weather outside, or alleviating some of the stress and chaos that comes with this time of the year.

Christmas Ale is on the shelves in almost every major supermarket in North East Ohio...I have already had my first of the year and if you are reading this and still haven't then please go and do so at your earliest convenience! You will not regret it...Please don't wait to long...Before you know it, it will be January 1st and it will be off the shelves, and you certainly do not want to be the one left scratching your head saying, "Where did it go?" Rather be the one that is left scratching your head saying, "What the hell just happened?" Because you had consumed one to many! Happy holidays!

Evening Hour

Good evening I am sitting in bed un able to sleep so, I thought I would try and blog out my insomnia. Now before I begin let me make a slight disclaimer that this blog is indeed a male perspective and is not really meant to offend anyone. Well, and lets be honest if a lil bit of testosterone in the written form offends you then you probably should not be reading this blog in the first place.

On to the point...I received a request earlier in the week to edit one of the previous quotes of the week. Now, the intent of this blog is not to get anyone in trouble, including myself, so, I didn't think twice of it and simply edited the quote and I am sure it went un-noticed by our regular readers. No sweat right? Wrong!

I have received some requests since then to blog on the reason why the quote was edited...After some consideration and not much else to talk about I have chosen to do just that! It was requested that the quote be edited as to not offend the person who said the quotes girlfriend. Let it be noted that I don't think anyone knows if she even reads this blog. So, as I didn't want anyone to be hurt I removed the quote...

To the person I removed the quote for, well I can't really say that I would not have requested the same be done if I were in your shoes, however, I think it is time that everyone stop worrying about offending people and just tell it how it is. I always liked to pride myself on the fact that I am brutally honest, people don't always like what I have to say but at least it has been said.

My illegitimate father, who has since moved away, and I used to have a family Matteo of, "Making new friends everyday." We had this Matteo because we told it how it was...This didn't make people very happy, and in return we probably had fewer friends everyday, but we had said it how it was.

So, grow some balls man! Say it how it is! If she doesn't like it, but if she loves you, she will get over it! If she doesn't get over it then it isn't meant to be. I know I have made a very complicated situation sound very simple here, and I understand that it is not that simple at all, but sleep on it, what's done is done and what's said is said. No respect lost only respect gained and at the end of the day we will all still be the Male Perspective of Ursuline College.

Unbelievable

Okay...So....The World Series is supposed to be the best in baseball! You mean to tell me that that after the Sox spanked the Rockies 13-1 last night in game one of the Series, that the Rockies are some of the best in baseball? No way! I think that MLB should call up the Indians and say sorry for that tough loss but we want you to come back and play the Sox again in another best of seven?

I am not say that the Tribe would definitely win...I am saying that they would force at least another game seven, if they don't actually win this time! I know I have just laid a huge slap in the face of the National League but lets be real about this. There is no way, unless the Rockies can figure out Schilling tonight, that this series is going to even go five games let alone all seven. Maybe it is time that MLB went to a playoff bracket like college basketball, that way would could avoid the AL always having to face an inferior NL team, I would like to exclude the 2006 Cards from those inferior NL teams.

However, here comes the optimist in me. I see the Rockies rebounding tonight! They are going to pound Schilling, he will go for four innings and give up 7 runs. Jimenez for the Rockies is going to be a little wild, as he usually is, but he will get the job done, and the series will go back to Mile High tied 1-1! I just hope the Rockies can wake up and make it go seven, that would be more than anyone could ask for!

A Bitter End

Again I apologize for my lack of blogging as of late. Baseball was running my life and I am sad to say that it is no longer. The Tribe completed one of the worst meltdowns in MLB history last night by finally blowing their 3-1 series lead to the Bo-Sox!

For me, and that is all I can speak for, it wasn't the fact that they lost, rather, how they lost. They had a 3-1 series lead, meaning that is all they had to do was avoid getting beat three in a row. Not only could they not avoid a three game skid but they lost the last three games but a ton! They were not one run games! I mean the game that ended the season was a 11-2 Bo-Sox bashing of the Tribe! How could you let your livelihood die that way?

As hard as it is to accept the end of the Tribe's season we should not let that overshadow the outstanding season they did have...No one expected them to get past NY...Not only did they beat NY but they did it in five games! And despite C.C. and Fausto's post season train wreck they both had spectacular regular seasons, that were amongst the best in the league.

Yes, It's hard to swallow...Yes, the fact that Christmas Ale is out does make it a little bit easier to swallow...Hopefully when it's all said and done we will at least be able to say that we lost to the World Series Champs!

Quote of the Week

I am having a hard time blogging about much of anything these days and it has everything to do with the Indians loss...That being said here is my weak attempt at a quote of the week.

It happened last week when Dave decided to drink half a bottle of Jim Beam in about 45 minutes! We were on our way to Taco Bell when Dave blurts out:

"I love her! But I haven't told her yet so you guys can't tell her...Okay?"

I know it's week I am sorry!

Three Down...

Three down and one win to go for the Tribe to clinch their birth in the 2007 MLB World Series! Tribe Time Now!!! Game four was a roller coaster of emotion at best and I will be the first to admit that it was worrisome when the Bo-Sox hit three homers in a row. Here is what ESPN page 2 had to say about Manny's:

"When Manny went deep, my first thought was, 'Quit posing, Manny, we're still down 7-3.' Then it dawned on me that Manny probably had no idea what the score was. In fact, he probably isn't aware that baseball games are determined by which team scores more runs. Manny's only point of differentiation comes when, after hitting a home run, he sees his teammates waiting for him at home plate -- it's at that point he knows it's time to go to the strip club."

Hilarious I know! However, after those three homers the Tribe's bullpen once again came through in winning fashion to cling to there 7-3 lead, which would turn into a 3-1 series lead.

Tomorrow the Tribe will look to C.C. Sabathia to not only win the series for them but to also throw what would be considered his best start of the playoffs against Boston's ace Beckett. I truly believe that C.C. will rise to the occasion and throw a gem tomorrow night, as the old saying goes, "Winning is contagious," look for C.C. to continue the winning ways his teammates and fellow pitchers have begun.

However, I also believe that C.C. needs this start to be one of the best and biggest of his career if he has any chance of securing the A.L. Cy Young Award. I know this award is supposed to be presented based solely on regular season stats and performance, but lets be honest it would be hard for anyone to ignore a gem thrown in game 5 of the ALCS, that would earn his team a birth in the World Series! So, remember as the clock strikes 8:00PM tomorrow evening to drop everything and turn on the television because it is Tribe Time Now!

Like Halloween Everyday

This is a link to three clips from an unaired CBS pilot. The show was dropped last minute, apparently. I don't know, seems totally acceptable to me.

What da matter with this?

Original

Not only did the Tribe win last night behind the arm of Jake "The Snake" Westbrook, but Kenny Lofton showed yet again why he is THE Original Gangsta!

First let me touch on "The Snake"! Man did he bring it! He brought the Boa Constrictor! He wrapped his body around the Bo-Sox in the first inning and then just continued to tighten and choke their asses out! Un-believable performance, very possibly the biggest of his career!

Now on to the meat of the story...THE Original Gangsta K-Money Lofton! Not only is this man old enough to be the father of most of the Indians team, (Side Note: It is actually being investigated to see how many of the Tribe's current roster members are Kenny's kids from his first stint with the Tribe in Old Municipal), but this man has wheels on him still, a bat, and God bless him, he even has a glove!

K-Money showed the glove first last night! With Many on third their was a routine fly to right, Kenny gloved the ball for the out and then rifled it home, stopping Many right in his tracks and forcing him back to third base! It gets better! As the next batter approached (Lowell), the camera cut to a picture of Kenny, he wasn't gloating over the routine play he just made, rather he was taunting Many Ramirez by giving him the, Dikembe Mutumbo, Not in my house, finger wave! Unbelievable!

The fun doesn't end there! Kenny was the third to bat in the bottom half of that very same inning! While circling the batters box Varitec told

Kenny to, "Hurry up and get in the box". No one tells Kenny what to do...Not even one of his fourteen wives that he has accumulated in various cities across the U.S. as he travels from team to team, let alone Jason freaking Varitec! So, K-Money took his time and WHAM!!! First pitch swinging on a 93 Mph fastball and it was gone! Over the right field wall! Don't you worry he took his time running the bases too, as only a true Original Gangsta could do!

Sorry!

I ment to have the picture be the one on the side here---->

And the slide show link to be placed in the article!

GO TRIBE!

Split Decision!

Maybe the best news in the sports world over the weekend was that, although it took 5+ hours that the Cleveland Indians were able to get out of Boston with a 1-1 split out of the first two games!

I don't think it was until about 1:15AM on Sunday morning that it really started to look pretty for the Tribe. After struggling through the first 9 innings Cleveland's mediocre pitching matching Boston's mediocre pitching and both offenses having sub par nights, the Tribe's bats finally came to life! It was the monster shot, that was only held in the park because of the lamp post off the top of the Green Monster in right field, off the bat of Franklin Gutierrez, that would allow most of the City of Cleveland to finally go to sleep! I know even I felt okay about going to bed knowing the Borowski would have to recommended run support for him to enter the game!

The series now turns back to Cleveland and although the momentum and history appear to be in the Tribe's favor it is still either teams series to claim. It will be up to Westbrook on Monday night and Byrd on Tuesday night to keep the bats of those pesky RedSox at bay. If Westbrook and Byrd can each give us five strong innings then I am confident our bullpen will carry us the rest of the way!

At this point it looks like we will turn to C.C. Sabathia for our game 5 starter. Although, he has yet to be the C.C. that should win the American League Cy Young award, I don't believe that there is any way that a pitcher of his caliber will have three bad starts in a row. That and his numbers at home, along with the rest of the team, are much better then when they are one the road.

A split for Cleveland was a small victory in itself! Now they need to take at least 2 at home to turn back to Bean town only having to win one! Tribe Time Now!

Quote of the Week

As I am watching the Brown's game and seeing a lack of defense I am reminded of a quote that was spoken while on the Emerging Leaders Retreat (ELR) earlier this year. We were sharing the camp we were at with a church group of small children. While waiting for our guides for the ropes courses we were hanging out in the grass outside the dining hall, when all of a sudden there was an eruption of noise from the hall. At first it was a faint but would soon gain volume like a snowball rolling down a snow covered hill! The chant was:

"Give me a "J"! You got your "J" you got your "J"! Give me an "E"! You got your "E" you got your "E"! Give me an "S"! you got your "S" you got your "S"! Give me a "U"! You got your "U" you got your "U"! Give me an "S"! You got your "S" you got your "S"! Whats that spell!? JESUS! JESUS!

As the cries for Jesus grew louder, we all grew a bit weary of the whole situation when Dave C. stated what we were all feeling:

"Wow they sound like a really fierce defense!"

So, let this be a lesson, never underestimate the scariness of chanting JESUS!

Gloating

Okay...I know that we beat NY and are now playing Boston...I also know that it is time to stop gloating over beating NY and to start focusing on Boston. That being said, I received an email today that contained a video in it that I could not pass up.

So, here it is! I promise that this ends the gloating! We all need to start cheering again for timely hitting and clutch pitching as the Tribe, Boston series starts on Friday! GO TRIBE!

A Man's Hit

This is a man's hit! Just in case it didn't make you cringe enough the first time they show it four more times! However, I find the most entertaining part of this the fact that they make the man walk out of the ring! He should of been stabilized on a stretcher!

Quote of the Week (Late)

This weeks quote will remain in the baseball theme! I just figured it was appropriate with all the excitement buzzing around! This quote come from Harry Caray:

"It's the fans that need spring training. You gotta get 'em interested. Wake 'em up and let 'em know that their season is coming, the good times are gonna roll."

The good times are gonna roll!

WINdians

I know I have been severely slacking on my blogging duties and for this I apologize! Enough of that...How about that Tribe!?

First I would like to speak to all of the sports analysts out there who all picked the Yankees in five! Fuck you! I think if you picked the Yankees in five then you should be in the same boat as Joe Torre and should start looking for a new job!

Secondly I would like to speak to everyone who was bitching that C.C. should have been pitching game four on three days rest! Screw you! I will be the first to admit that I am the biggest skeptic of Paul Byrd, that being said he has had a respectable season and is all he really needed to do was give us five strong innings and turn it over to the bullpen! Oh wait that's exactly what he did! Ya know what even better than being able to set our rotation from the top for the next series against Boston? The fact that Paul Byrd's confidence is now that of a 20 win pitcher going into the Boston series! This win was huge on many levels beyond winning the series...Way to go Byrdman!

Thirdly I would like to speak to Joe Torre. Joe I love you! Thank you for starting Wang on three days rest! We rocked him on full rest I don't know what made you think we would do it again on three days! Joe if George fires you, I would gladly give you a job as a bench coach in Cleveland just to show you how grateful I am for all you have done for us!

Lastly I would like to talk to the other Joe...Joe Borowski...Joe, Joe, Joe! I know that you led the AL in saves...Guess What? You also are the highest ERA for a league leading closer EVER! Suck it! So, do us all a favor and the next time the bullpen phone rings and they say, "Joe start throwing," and the lead is less than 12 runs, kindly decline and say Betancourt would much rather close this out! The fans in Cleveland will love you even more if you do that!

Tribe Time Now! The Indians are playing poised well balanced baseball right now and if they can keep it up beating Boston is not impossible! It will be a completely different series but again a very winable one if we play our best! So, the next time someone asks you what time it is, simply reply, "Tribe Time Now!"

Proof that Jesus is a buckeye!

Sorry! Here is the proof! However, if this picture doesn't make you a believer than the fact that he sent the plague for game two to help the Tribe should be enough...If you still don't believe then you are a Jesus hater!

Look for a quote of the week later today! I know I am behind!

Jesus Is a Buckeye!

I was one of the lucky 44,608 to attend game one of the ALDS last night between your Cleveland Indians and those dreaded Yankees of New York! The game got off to a rough start when the first batter of the game took C.C. yard for a quick 1-0 Yankee lead...I am proud to say that, that is the last lead the Yankees would hold for the game! The Tribe ended up pounded them into submission with a 12-3 final in Cleveland's favor! It was a combination of timely hitting, use of the long ball, and really shitty Yankee pitching! Hopefully the Tribe will continue their offensive surge this afternoon when Fausto takes the mound...Tribe Time Now!

If the ball game wasn't spectacular enough, another phenomenon also occurred on this warm October evening. It was shortly after the seventh inning stretch when Hang On Sloopy started to blare over the loud speaker! All the Cleveland fans immediately rose to their feet because they knew what time it was...O-H-I-O...Lebron cowered in his seat with his tattered Yankee cap...Even more amazing was what happened in Monroe Ohio outside of a small church...Jesus emerged from the lake outside proudly displaying the "H" in O-H-I-O...Confirming that Jesus is indeed a Buckeye! For those of you who are reading this right now and thinking I am full of shit...Here is the proof!

However, this rare appearance made my Jesus should not out shadow the outstanding performance by the Tribe's offense, pitching, and the fans! So, keep supporting them as they continue their quest to be the first team to eleven wins in the month of October!

Ricky Williams Is Still Stoned

Earlier this week Ricky Williams drafted a letter to the commissioner of football pleading for reinstatement to the league. In my Internet endeavors I found a copy of that letter.

Now if the commish needed any more proof that Williams still hits the reefer harder than Chong, other than another positive drug test, then his letter I am sure really sealed the deal. I mean he fell just short of asking the commish if he had some Cheetos that he could have for his ravishing appetite!

And if you are still not convinced that Williams is still doing drugs...Than look at this picture! I mean is all it takes is some good old fashion stereotyping to know that this guy is a pot smoker! Come on with back like Reggie Bush and LT already in the league who needs Ricky Williams?

Put To Rest

Once upon a time there was a post that welcomed a new author to my little experiment...Unfortunately since that author graciously accepted his position on the blog, he has only contributed one post! I have heard very little from him in person and even less on the blog!

So, I had to make an executive decision to remove him from the blog! This decision is not written in stone...Anything is possible...But for now I will remain the sol contributing author to this blog and will continue to rely on all of you, the readers, to continue with your enthusiastic comments!

Chris...If you're out there??? Please come home and let us know you are okay!

Cleveland Sports On Winning Track!

I believe that it all started with the Cavaliers amazing playoff run, which ended in the NBA finals this past summer! Cleveland sports seem to finally all be on track (knock on wood)! The Indians are back in the playoffs taking on those pesky New York Yankees in the first round...Even though they have to take on the evil empire most people, myself included, feel that they can make a real run at the championship!

However, lets not discount the Browns latest victory over the Baltimore Ravens! If they keep playing that way at home then we have a real shot at a 500 season! Which for the Browns, based on the previous seasons, would be about as exciting as the Cavs making the NBA finals! It would also offer just enough hope for all the season ticket holders to go out and buy season tickets again for next year, with prayers that they too could be witness to another Cleveland sports team rising to greatness!

Soon it will be time for Lebron and the Cavs to lace up the sneakers and re-take the hardwood! Although they haven't made as many moves in the off season as some of the other teams in the league, i.e. Boston and Houston, look for them to none the less again be electrifying offensively and stifling defensively! I am sure it will be another great season!

Now back to them Engines! The tag line that seems to be defining our early clinch of the American League Central Division is, "Tribe Time Now". I couldn't agree more! It is Tribe Time Now! The Indians are stacked with young talent with a bit a veteran seasoning to hopefully carry us through! Not to mention the arms of C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona! Both of which are in contention to win the American League Cy Young Award! Tribe Time Now!

Which brings me to my next point...I know that the last time we all remember the Tribe being a powerhouse in the American League was the mid to late 90's, but this is Tribe Time Now! So, stop saying this is just like the 90's! Its not! Not at all! This team is extremely talented and some would argue even more balanced than our teams of the 90's, none the less it is our team now! Support them now win or lose, hopefully win!

Quote of the Week

While there were several quotes from this past week that could have very well of cracked the quote of the week line-up, there is one that is glaring at me still this evening! It came from a gentlemen's evening out at the St. Edward, Benedictine football game...St. Edward prevailed 21-13...

This quote comes from Cory B. When we all saw an extremely large assed women walk by us and he very untactfully said:

"She looks like she's smuggling two umpa loompas. One in each cheek!!!"

It was an excellent football game as well!

Shaddap You Face

Yes, I've grown dependent on youtube for my forrays into the blogging world. Yes, Samuel L Jackson hasn't been in too many decent movies recently. But I'll be damned if you can show me another actor who can turn this into this.

I hope you all find this as entertaining as I did! However, you should be warned that this post is product of exactly what happens when you have way to much time on your hands!

Spelling Bee

Based on a heated discussion I had earlier today, with a person that will remain anonymous...Lets just say she is worth about as much as her name is in U.S. currency...

This discussion has lead me to have to blog on the word Library. Library, L-I-B-R-A-R-Y, Library! Webster's defines as such:

Main Entry: li·brary Pronunciation: 'lI-"brer-E, -"bre-rE; Britain usually and US sometimes -br&r-E; US sometimes -brE, ÷-"ber-E, -"be-rEFunction: nounInflected Form(s): plural -brar·iesEtymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French librarie, Medieval Latin librarium, from Latin, neuter of librarius of books, from libr-, liber inner bark, rind, book1 a : a place in which literary, musical, artistic, or reference materials (as books, manuscripts, recordings, or films) are kept for use but not for sale b : a collection of such materials

Notice that in all the possible pronunciations of the word...Libury is not one of them! Now, the next time you want to have an intelligent conversation with someone, please make sure you are at least pronouncing the basic words correctly and putting the right Emphasis on the right syllables!

A Warning to All

Here is an article that I was made aware of by a fellow blogger, that I found just too good too pass up from blogging on myself.

It's a fair enough read, but what it leaves out* some rather amusing details which I'll sketch in for you here.


The problem began because the old lady had actually gone to take a number one, but had been surprised and taken aback by a sneaky number two. This was just not any old dump, this was something that they would've written an epic poem about had it occurred in the middle ages. Asked to describe the crap, the lady said,

"Have you seen the movie tremors, with those horrible nasty worm things that come up from the ground, who ate Mr. Miyagi? It was like that but pointing down. I thought I'd given birth to Sears Tower or something. I doubt the Loch Ness monster has ever left something that big behind it. If it did I bet it cried"


The old lady also described how this poop kept her spirits up; it was so large that she was easily able to anthropomorphize it, she named it Kent, and she told him about her dreams. She would sit on the toilet seat and parp at the appropriate time to give Kent a voice. The relationship was not always an easy one,"At one point we had a slanging match, we were both trying to shout each other done and I suddenly realised if this continued much longer I'd have a twin brother for Kent which may have included some of my vital internal organs so I just calmed down and tried not to think of my aggressive bottom biscuit"

The old lady has been reunited with her family and has settled back into day to day life, although she has been reported on a number of occasions to have addressed her husband as Kent.

If He Can't do it...No One Can!

I watched the Browns have yet another disappointing loss this week, especially after the high powered offensive display of last week! Some good, however, did come out of the game! Cleveland Brown's fan nation was introduced to Scott Player, the new punter! Let me just say if punting were based purely on looks...This man would be the God of punting!

The Handle Bar Mustache! The Barely-there face mask! If he can't save the Browns than no one can!

Quote of the week!

This quote of the week comes from a complete stranger but always makes me smile when I think of it. As I mentioned in an earlier post I attended the Tribe game on Tuesday night! Since then they have clinched their playoff birth! WAHOO TRIBE TIME NOW!!! Anyway, the night I was there Jake Westbrook was on the mound and that's when it happened...The drunk college kid behind me started to chant:

"Jake the snake! Jake the snake! Show 'em the python Jake!"

Needless to say the Tribe won the game...The papers credited the victory to some timely hitting...Not that it didn't help, but I know the real reason for the victory was because Jake used the PYTHON!

Jewish Community is Still Getting the Shaft

I attended the Indians game the other night, they were taking on the Detroit Tigers. On this particular night it happend to not only be a half price ticket College 360 night, but also a dollar hot dog night! However, while the game was quiet enjoyable the atmosphere of which it was played in was mildly upsetting.

The main thing that I found upsetting was, well other than the t-shirts that on the front in Detroit Tiger manuscript read; Detroit Sucks, and on the back in Pistons block print, said; pistons swallow, was the fact that the dollar dogs were not kosher dogs! I found this out after standing in a lengthy line, thinking I was waiting to make a hefty order of dogs for a not so hefty price, when the cashier leaned over the counter and announced to the line that this stand was not selling dollar dogs. This stand only has the $4.25 kosher dogs! Immediately more than 3/4 of the line dispersed and the few left everyone knew were Jews!

The Jewish community is still getting the shaft! I mean if it wasn't enough that they had to endure WWII, but now also a $4.25 hot dog at the stadium on dollar dog night! Is there no cultural sensitivity in the world anymore? So, to those of you reading with Jewish heritage or Jewish friends (Jesus counts too), I am apologizing that you don't have the pleasure of enjoying the over bloated, tummy cramping, holy shit I wanna puke, feeling that the rest of us get to enjoy after eating more dollar hot dogs in a night than most people will eat in a year! Might I also add that almost as equally upsetting as the $4.25 kosher dog was the fact that over 62,000 hot dogs were consumed that night in the stadium, the number was adjusted to not include the kosher dogs!

On a brighter note the Tribe managed to not only win that evening, but also to win the next one as well! Completing a 3 game sweet of the Detroit Tigers and lowering the magic number to 3! GO TRIBE!

10 ComMANdments

When I first started my time here at Ursuline I was just as skeptical as every other male that walks through these doors for the first time. However, I was greeted by a very special and tight nit group of guys who sat me down and told me how it is being a guy at a women's college. They did this by supplying me with some very simple yet important rules. The rules were as follows:

1. Only leave your room for meals, working out, class, bathroom and to visit another guys room.
2. Never date on campus.
3. You can shower in the stall of your liking
4. Toilet stall one is used for urinating only, toilet stall two and three are used for bowel movements. (If in the rare occasion stall two and three are occupied and stall one is available, then and only then may you dump in stall one).
5. Always flush
6. If you leave your door UN-locked, which all the guys do, then you can't bitch when the other guys mess with your stuff---Along those same lines is the fact that you are in charge of making fun for yourself here...If you don't no one else will!
7. It is a privilege to be invited to drink with Sir Christopher Jingle, not a right! (For the record never try to set a pace faster then him).
8. Movie nights are completely optional no matter what Seiple will try and tell you.
9. Never screw over another guy here on campus...There are way to few of us to not all get along.
10. When all else fails make sure you are following rules one through nine...Because if your not that's probably the root of your problem.

I bring these rules up now for two reasons: First is that I don't know if the new gentlemen on campus have been made aware of these guidelines and they are to important to just assume that they had been handed down. Secondly, I have noticed that the rules have been forgotten by all. I know we all have our own ways and that the rules were not meant to be a way of life, rather a guideline to which you could point your life. It is time that the rules were resurrected or maybe even edited and re-published but I needed to have the peace of mind knowing that they were not dead to all.

It is true that the saying goes, "Rules were meant to be broken", I know we have all, myself included, broken these rules at one time or another. However, next time you go to sit down and complain about your situation reference these rules and make sure that you have followed them, only when you can say you have followed them is when you can truly complain about your life as a man here at Ursuline.

Quote of the week

I have been away from the computer for a few days, hence why there have been no updates to the blog. Now that I am back and after some conversation over the weekend I have decided that I will implement a quote of the week. The recommendation was made for a quote of the day but I wouldn't be able to promise you quality quotes everyday, so, I am opting for a quote of the week.

The criteria for quote of the week is that, there are no criteria. The quote of the week may come from someone close and dear to out hearts or from deep in history, I am simply looking for quality and as usual will always be open to suggestions! Without any further adieu this weeks quote of the week come from Dave C.

"So, she was like twelve when he started going here?"

For those of you who know what this is in reference too, I love you! For those of you who would like clarification just ask!

Five Things Better Than Charlie Frye

I missed a day, I know it's inexcusable! Before I go any further on the topic of how miserable Charlie Frye is, I would like to touch on a few things...The bashing of Michigan will stop only when Michigan doesn't suck anymore! Since Michigan will always suck I wouldn't expect the bashing to stop as long as this blog is in existence.

Next I would like to say that I am very thrilled to see that the blog has found its way to UVA in Virginia! Jingle we miss you but your work here was done and it was time for you to spread your wealth of knowledge somewhere else.

Now on to the main event! Charlie Frye! It took Charlie not even an entire half of a game for the Browns to finally decide that he is a waste and to move him anywhere but Cleveland! When I finally heard of this news the first thought that popped in to my head was: HMM....I wonder what they got for him? The answer: Not much at all...A sixth round draft pick to be exact...That's not even a person! Just a promise of a person sometime in the future! My next thought was then: It was Charlie Frye I guess that's not such a bad deal! So, I have decided to create a list of the top five things that I would have been satisfied if the Browns had received in compensation for Charlie. Here is that list:

5. A game of, "One of these things doesn't belong". This game would have had to of taken place between the original cast of Sesame Street and the Browns O-line. Eventually they would have figured out that Frye was the one that didn't belong.
4. Michael Vick's dogs...They are the ones that got a raw deal in that whole cluster fuck...I am sure the Dog Pound would welcome them!
3. The McDonald's commercial, Charlie's "Fries". We could have paid less to keep them around and they taste good.
2. Bernie Kosar now...He's 44 for those of you who were wondering...Yes he would still be amazing!
1. Tony Danza from the movie, " The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon". Even if he sucked, which he didn't, we would still have Tony Danza.

"Protect Your Momma"

I found this documentary to be particularly riveting hope you do as well...If nothing else, "You've got to protect your momma!"

Nursing

After yet another stimulating day as a nursing student I have decided that nursing is not actually a real major. Rather it is meant to ruin the lives of those who are dumb enough to take it on as a career path! Let me elaborate...

My day started at 7:45AM, it left just enough time to get up, dress, brush my teeth, and take the always important morning pee! I started in the computer lab where I was supposed to print my slides for lecture only to find that yet again the printers were both out of toner! I blame the art student printing in front of me who had over 100 slides to print in color for her art history course. So, I headed to class without my materials to sit through yet another stimulating lecture on the critically ill patient. I arrived in class to find not my professor there but instead the dean of the nursing school! The first hour of class was then spent listening to the class complain to the dean about a test that the majority of them had failed. The claim was that it was an "invalid" test! Not only was the dean more then willing to accommodate those that were not satisfied with their grades but she worked it out so the test would be curved in the end!

My question is this: At what point do you own up for not knowing your shit and stop bitching and hoping that someone else will bail you out? At the end of nursing school, nursing students need to take a state licencing exam called the NCLEX, not only does the state not care if you pass or fail, but if you fail they will keep your money and still smile at you as you walk out the door! What kind of favor is the school doing you if they are willing to bend over backwards to make sure you pass the course? In the end you will fail the test that really counts!

On another note...I know the last one was a little bitter with a cynics twist on and I apologize for that. The blog is now 48hrs. young and Laura seems to be the only one that is willing to comment or maybe read for that matter. I promise I am not writing for my health, although it is a bit therapeutic, I would much rather have people comment and suggest topics to be written on. So, pass on the URL and encourage your friends to read, this will be a lot more fun with more readers!

Dear Readers,
I look forward to writing and being apart of this blog. There are many topics and issues that need to be shared with all of you. So I thank person who started this; I have a feeling that this will be just the binning of great works. I have a feeling that the UC A Male Perspective is going to in list a number of great topics and I am excited to be apart of this project!!

New Author!

I would like to take a quick moment and welcome the second author to this experiment! Chris I am sure you will bring some great insight and sensitivity to the situation!

Disheartening

It is disheartening to watch the Cleveland Browns! They had a very promising pre-season where they showed some depth at QB or at least some hope with Brady Quin and they even came into the first game of the season, against the hated Steelers as 4 point favorites.

Let the optimism stop right there! With only 2:01 elapsed in the first quarter the Browns faced their first deficit of the year...It would only grow from there! So, my question to all of you is, at what point do the Browns clean house and start over? I will be the first to say that when they drafted Joe Thomas and Brady Quinn I was excited! However, after watching Joe Thomas in his first regular season game it is clear that he is another product of one of the slowest division in college football, The Big Ten, and he apparently didn't do any work in the off season to better his speed. Not only is he slower than Melasis in January but he has a weak upper body! He has been practically pushed down by the Steelers D-line at least 3 or 4 times and it is only the end of the 3rd.

Unfortunately I cannot sit here and critique Brady Quinn because Crennel is a chump and put Anderson in rather than Quinn. Which I am sure Quinn appreciates as he sits and watches the Steelers, who have six sacks, beat the shit out of his position sharing teammates! What I can comment on as far as Quinn goes is that I like the new haircut! Unfortunately that is all we have seen of him!

Also, disheartening is Michigan football! Yesterday they suffered yet another loss too the Oregon Ducks! I will be up front with you, I hate Michigan! However, from what they have shown in their first two games of the year, the OSU Vs. UM game will not be much of a game at all. Maybe it is time that OSU find a new rival? This is not meant as a slight to Appalachian State or Oregon what so ever! After Appalachian State beat Michigan the first game of the year, all the sports writers said it was a fluke! However, with Oregon not only beating Michigan, but dismantling them defensively and offensively it is safe to say that UofM was the inferior team in both those loses. Maybe OSU should add Oregon and Appalachian State to their schedule and take the inferior team of Michigan off!

A bad day for Michigan a GREAT day for Ohio

I was just watching Michigan losing yet again to an inferior team...Which took my thoughts back to the glory that was last Saturday! Enjoy! Michigan has a great day!

A Warning to Our Male Readers

Here is an article that was brought to my attention recently and I really feel that it is worth the time of at least our male readers to give a quick read. However, if you are one of the select few who are reading this and fear nothing more than the visualization of your future wife sitting with her legs in stirrups, screaming, as you watch a little gremlin crawl out from her vagina, read no further and keep that laptop on your lap as long as possible. Those of you who value your reproductive organs and want to have children some day please take a moment to read on!

Moment......

Now that I feel I have given you a bit of wisdom for the day, which I would like to do with each post, so, that way you don't feel like you are completely wasting your life by reading my blog. I will now rant a bit about life at a women's college and why it is not as ground breaking of an idea for a man as some may think.

First let me clarify...UC is a "Women's Focused College". This means that there are so few men enrolled, less than 8%, that technically it cannot be considered a co-ed institute of higher learning. Now, after explaining this to most people, primarily men, they either shake your hand or give you a pat on the back and say, "You are a genius!" Not so fast my friend! After over three years of experience on the UC campus I can safely say that the men that go here, myself included, are not geniuses! As scholastically talented as we all may be we live in what most men would probably consider a nightmare!

(Disclaimer: Baby I love you very much and if you are reading this know that I have found
one of very few diamonds in the rough! You mean the world to me!)

Sorry about that...Where was I??? Ahh...YES! A nightmare! Let me elaborate...The guys have a fantasy baseball league, there are only six in it! We also now have a fantasy football league too, with only five in it! Imagine a place where everyday you can find a woman who is PMSing! Every now and again we get together and play some basketball in the gym. Not five on five mind you, rather two and two!

This is not say that there are no perks to being one of a few men at UC! I mean when you need to take a dump you don't have to look for a private stall, just find the nearest men's room and go there, I can guarantee you that it will be all yours! On campus there is only four of us that have to share two showers and three stalls. Also, everyone knows who you are, which I guess can be a blessing and a curse. I suppose it isn't all bad. So, the moral of all this is next time a guy says I go to a women's college, give him a hug and offer to buy him a beer (only if he is of legal age,) because it is not always as glorious as you may think it is!

Hello and Welcome

Hello and Welcome to my new Blog! UC A Male perspective is a Blog that has been on my mind for a long time now. It should be known that the title of this Blog has nothing to do with the content that may appear on it. While some of the commentary may shed light on or refer to what it is like to be a man at a women's college, that will not be the sole focus of the content.

Right now I am the chief and only blogger on this site, however, look for this to change over the next few days or weeks!

For those of you that are reading this and commenting from UC (Who am I kidding you are the only ones reading this!) is all I ask is that you keep it semi clean and don't post anything that may be self incriminating in a court of law. Alright! That is all for now, I look forward to seeing how this adventure unfolds!