While there were several quotes from this past week that could have very well of cracked the quote of the week line-up, there is one that is glaring at me still this evening! It came from a gentlemen's evening out at the St. Edward, Benedictine football game...St. Edward prevailed 21-13...
This quote comes from Cory B. When we all saw an extremely large assed women walk by us and he very untactfully said:
"She looks like she's smuggling two umpa loompas. One in each cheek!!!"
It was an excellent football game as well!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Shaddap You Face
Yes, I've grown dependent on youtube for my forrays into the blogging world. Yes, Samuel L Jackson hasn't been in too many decent movies recently. But I'll be damned if you can show me another actor who can turn this into this.
I hope you all find this as entertaining as I did! However, you should be warned that this post is product of exactly what happens when you have way to much time on your hands!
I hope you all find this as entertaining as I did! However, you should be warned that this post is product of exactly what happens when you have way to much time on your hands!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Spelling Bee
Based on a heated discussion I had earlier today, with a person that will remain anonymous...Lets just say she is worth about as much as her name is in U.S. currency...
This discussion has lead me to have to blog on the word Library. Library, L-I-B-R-A-R-Y, Library! Webster's defines as such:
This discussion has lead me to have to blog on the word Library. Library, L-I-B-R-A-R-Y, Library! Webster's defines as such:
Main Entry: li·brary Pronunciation: 'lI-"brer-E, -"bre-rE; Britain usually and US sometimes -br&r-E; US sometimes -brE, ÷-"ber-E, -"be-rEFunction: nounInflected Form(s): plural -brar·iesEtymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French librarie, Medieval Latin librarium, from Latin, neuter of librarius of books, from libr-, liber inner bark, rind, book1 a : a place in which literary, musical, artistic, or reference materials (as books, manuscripts, recordings, or films) are kept for use but not for sale b : a collection of such materials
Notice that in all the possible pronunciations of the word...Libury is not one of them! Now, the next time you want to have an intelligent conversation with someone, please make sure you are at least pronouncing the basic words correctly and putting the right Emphasis on the right syllables!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
A Warning to All
Here is an article that I was made aware of by a fellow blogger, that I found just too good too pass up from blogging on myself.
It's a fair enough read, but what it leaves out* some rather amusing details which I'll sketch in for you here.
The problem began because the old lady had actually gone to take a number one, but had been surprised and taken aback by a sneaky number two. This was just not any old dump, this was something that they would've written an epic poem about had it occurred in the middle ages. Asked to describe the crap, the lady said,
"Have you seen the movie tremors, with those horrible nasty worm things that come up from the ground, who ate Mr. Miyagi? It was like that but pointing down. I thought I'd given birth to Sears Tower or something. I doubt the Loch Ness monster has ever left something that big behind it. If it did I bet it cried"
The old lady also described how this poop kept her spirits up; it was so large that she was easily able to anthropomorphize it, she named it Kent, and she told him about her dreams. She would sit on the toilet seat and parp at the appropriate time to give Kent a voice. The relationship was not always an easy one,"At one point we had a slanging match, we were both trying to shout each other done and I suddenly realised if this continued much longer I'd have a twin brother for Kent which may have included some of my vital internal organs so I just calmed down and tried not to think of my aggressive bottom biscuit"
The old lady has been reunited with her family and has settled back into day to day life, although she has been reported on a number of occasions to have addressed her husband as Kent.
It's a fair enough read, but what it leaves out* some rather amusing details which I'll sketch in for you here.
The problem began because the old lady had actually gone to take a number one, but had been surprised and taken aback by a sneaky number two. This was just not any old dump, this was something that they would've written an epic poem about had it occurred in the middle ages. Asked to describe the crap, the lady said,
"Have you seen the movie tremors, with those horrible nasty worm things that come up from the ground, who ate Mr. Miyagi? It was like that but pointing down. I thought I'd given birth to Sears Tower or something. I doubt the Loch Ness monster has ever left something that big behind it. If it did I bet it cried"
The old lady also described how this poop kept her spirits up; it was so large that she was easily able to anthropomorphize it, she named it Kent, and she told him about her dreams. She would sit on the toilet seat and parp at the appropriate time to give Kent a voice. The relationship was not always an easy one,"At one point we had a slanging match, we were both trying to shout each other done and I suddenly realised if this continued much longer I'd have a twin brother for Kent which may have included some of my vital internal organs so I just calmed down and tried not to think of my aggressive bottom biscuit"
The old lady has been reunited with her family and has settled back into day to day life, although she has been reported on a number of occasions to have addressed her husband as Kent.
If He Can't do it...No One Can!
I watched the Browns have yet another disappointing loss this week, especially after the high powered offensive display of last week! Some good, however, did come out of the game! Cleveland Brown's fan nation was introduced to Scott Player, the new punter! Let me just say if punting were based purely on looks...This man would be the God of punting!
The Handle Bar Mustache! The Barely-there face mask! If he can't save the Browns than no one can!
The Handle Bar Mustache! The Barely-there face mask! If he can't save the Browns than no one can!
Quote of the week!
This quote of the week comes from a complete stranger but always makes me smile when I think of it. As I mentioned in an earlier post I attended the Tribe game on Tuesday night! Since then they have clinched their playoff birth! WAHOO TRIBE TIME NOW!!! Anyway, the night I was there Jake Westbrook was on the mound and that's when it happened...The drunk college kid behind me started to chant:
"Jake the snake! Jake the snake! Show 'em the python Jake!"
Needless to say the Tribe won the game...The papers credited the victory to some timely hitting...Not that it didn't help, but I know the real reason for the victory was because Jake used the PYTHON!
"Jake the snake! Jake the snake! Show 'em the python Jake!"
Needless to say the Tribe won the game...The papers credited the victory to some timely hitting...Not that it didn't help, but I know the real reason for the victory was because Jake used the PYTHON!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Jewish Community is Still Getting the Shaft
I attended the Indians game the other night, they were taking on the Detroit Tigers. On this particular night it happend to not only be a half price ticket College 360 night, but also a dollar hot dog night! However, while the game was quiet enjoyable the atmosphere of which it was played in was mildly upsetting.
The main thing that I found upsetting was, well other than the t-shirts that on the front in Detroit Tiger manuscript read; Detroit Sucks, and on the back in Pistons block print, said; pistons swallow, was the fact that the dollar dogs were not kosher dogs! I found this out after standing in a lengthy line, thinking I was waiting to make a hefty order of dogs for a not so hefty price, when the cashier leaned over the counter and announced to the line that this stand was not selling dollar dogs. This stand only has the $4.25 kosher dogs! Immediately more than 3/4 of the line dispersed and the few left everyone knew were Jews!
The Jewish community is still getting the shaft! I mean if it wasn't enough that they had to endure WWII, but now also a $4.25 hot dog at the stadium on dollar dog night! Is there no cultural sensitivity in the world anymore? So, to those of you reading with Jewish heritage or Jewish friends (Jesus counts too), I am apologizing that you don't have the pleasure of enjoying the over bloated, tummy cramping, holy shit I wanna puke, feeling that the rest of us get to enjoy after eating more dollar hot dogs in a night than most people will eat in a year! Might I also add that almost as equally upsetting as the $4.25 kosher dog was the fact that over 62,000 hot dogs were consumed that night in the stadium, the number was adjusted to not include the kosher dogs!
On a brighter note the Tribe managed to not only win that evening, but also to win the next one as well! Completing a 3 game sweet of the Detroit Tigers and lowering the magic number to 3! GO TRIBE!
The main thing that I found upsetting was, well other than the t-shirts that on the front in Detroit Tiger manuscript read; Detroit Sucks, and on the back in Pistons block print, said; pistons swallow, was the fact that the dollar dogs were not kosher dogs! I found this out after standing in a lengthy line, thinking I was waiting to make a hefty order of dogs for a not so hefty price, when the cashier leaned over the counter and announced to the line that this stand was not selling dollar dogs. This stand only has the $4.25 kosher dogs! Immediately more than 3/4 of the line dispersed and the few left everyone knew were Jews!
The Jewish community is still getting the shaft! I mean if it wasn't enough that they had to endure WWII, but now also a $4.25 hot dog at the stadium on dollar dog night! Is there no cultural sensitivity in the world anymore? So, to those of you reading with Jewish heritage or Jewish friends (Jesus counts too), I am apologizing that you don't have the pleasure of enjoying the over bloated, tummy cramping, holy shit I wanna puke, feeling that the rest of us get to enjoy after eating more dollar hot dogs in a night than most people will eat in a year! Might I also add that almost as equally upsetting as the $4.25 kosher dog was the fact that over 62,000 hot dogs were consumed that night in the stadium, the number was adjusted to not include the kosher dogs!
On a brighter note the Tribe managed to not only win that evening, but also to win the next one as well! Completing a 3 game sweet of the Detroit Tigers and lowering the magic number to 3! GO TRIBE!
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